Chapter One (Part 2)

Vlaad’s common sense hadn’t quite kicked in yet, his body had realised that he was lying face down in the sand being washed up and down by waves. However it couldn’t really muster enough strength to have gotten round to telling his brain to do something about it, and so still, he lay there.
“You know, this whole sand thing isn’t too bad once you get used to it.” He muttered to himself. “All things considering… It could be worse.” And suddenly, it was.
Vlaad felt himself being moved, it was only slight, but he could definitely feel himself being rocked back and forth. It was too strong to be the wind, and the wrong direction to be the waves. Now this was something you couldn’t get used to, the sand was the least of his worries now.
“Please stop that” Vlaad groaned. The movement subsided slightly, he felt himself rock back to where he had been lying. “Thank you…” Vlaad was nothing if not polite, it made more sense that way, and caused less arguments.
No sooner had he relaxed, the rocking started once more, slightly more vigorous and considerably more painful this time around. Whoever or whatever was molesting him obviously had no manners, and most certainly could not respect that a man lying face down on a beach expected his privacy.
“What the hell is wrong with you… I said stop…” Vlaad propped himself up on his elbows, apart from vital breaths, this was the first time he’d lifted his head. The light from the summer sun hurt his eye and the glare from the sand certainly wasn’t helping. “Hmm… Sand… Heat…Blinding light” Vlaad noticed a deckchair being occupied by a grossly overweight man sleeping, the only thing covering his modesty being an over stretched pair of swimming trunks. “…Fat people… I must be in hell…” The rocking continued, Vlaad rolled over on to his back. “And thus the eternity of annoying torture begins… Very interesting punishment though me thinks…Very original… Poked for all eternity… Come then ‘Oh Great Demon’ show me your face, if I’m supposed to be hating this, at least show me who I’m supposed to be hating.”
Vlaad turned to look at his so called tormentor. Standing over his body was a small plump boy wielding a piece of driftwood which he was proceeding to nudge Vlaad’s ribs with.
The boy smiled, “Hi mister. Are you ok?” He lowered the driftwood to his side.
Vlaad grinned, the light from the sun was still causing him to squint. He was still staring at the boy, however instead of seeing a small child carrying a dry piece of wood, Vlaad saw a tiny imp brandishing a sword. He stopped grinning.
“Am I ok?” Vlaad sat up quickly causing the boy to take a step back. “I’m lying in the pits of hell, and they send an imp to torture me. Does your boss not know who I am? He should have been here himself to do this, not some lowly hellspawn. Second of all, this imp has the audacity to ask-”
“What does audacity mean mister?” The boy cut Vlaad short.
“It means shut your stinking face imp…” Vlaad shouted, the boy looked upset. “Anyway, this stupid imp has the cheek to ask if I’m ok. Of course I’m not bloody ok… I’m stuck in the underworld being poked for eternity by some satanic midget with a superiority complex.” Vlaad was getting to his feet.